Wednesday, November 27, 2013

If you're telekinetic raise my hand.

Just for laughs...

1. There’s a bunch of different crunches that affect the abs … my favorite is Nestle's.
2. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
3. The lessons in life are free, but they cost a lot.
4. A woman's place is in charge.
5. Well, my days of not taking you seriously are coming to a middle.
6. Build it and they will complain.
7. The most important social element in modern computer game development is probably still beer.
8. Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.
9. I try to watch what I eat and yet my eyes just aren't quick enough.
10. She got her good looks from her father; he’s a plastic surgeon.
10. Some people are like slinkies not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
11. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
12. Two wrongs don't make a right, three lefts do.
13. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go.
14. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
15. I miss my ex so often, I really need a laser sight.1
16. Two guys walked into a bar, the third one ducked.
17. Women's rights impress me as much as their lefts.
18. The practice of mindfulness may show you what is so. Further enlightenment will make you say, “So what?”
19. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas.
20. If you're telekinetic raise my hand.
21. I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.
22. Pet spiders are cheaper to buy off the web.
23. The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
24. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
25. Speed up your smartphone, throw it out a 10th story window.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

The Mission Begins

More on the next installment of the Galatia Series...

The hunt for the Blood Map is on!  Follow the last survivors of the human race as their adventures on Future Earth continue. 

Led by an alien artifact called the Seeker of the Four Winds, Josie, Lars and the Red Squad risk everything to save their people from annihilation. But with a demented warlock on the loose, and growing political unrest within their homeland, what will they find waiting for them upon their return?

Seeker of the Four Winds has been turned over to my wonderful editor, Josephine. After passing it back-and-forth several times, we are down to the final edit. Notice her name is the same as my main character’s. It’s a sign! That’s what I said when she joined the team. Does that make me superstitious? Well, probably a little.

The precise release date remains a mystery. The goal was sometime in January 2014, but it's looking more like early February . Keep watching this blog for updates.

Book Two of the Galatia Series, coming in January 2014.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Selling the End of the World

Just released in paperback!

Before the pandemic Red Wakeland was a successful used car salesman. After losing his entire family, he joins a town of survivors, where he finds hope and love in unexpected places. The future is looking up when he discovers who was behind the plague and why they're not through ridding the planet of humanity. Can Red sell the idea of hostile invaders from the stars and convince his neighbors to prepare for the end of the world...again?  

*Paperback will available at Barnes and Noble and other online retailers soon.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

The Galatia Novels Are Landing!

The Galatia Series is an action-packed epic fantasy about the rebuilding of human civilization.

Prequel - Red the First. Release Date: Available Here

Book 1 - Promised Land. Release Date: Available Here

Book 2 - Seeker of the Four Winds. Available Here

Book 3 - Exiled: Release Date: To Be Announced

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Zombie Dad

A zombie has just bitten your arm, but you haven't turned yet. You are stranded in the middle of nowhere with your infant daughter. What would you do?  I love this video's take on it.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

You're Never Too Old To Learn Something Stupid

PARAPROSDOKIAN: a figure of speech, often humorous, in which the latter part of a sentence is surprising or unexpected.

1.Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2.The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but, it's still on my list.
3.Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4.If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5.We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6.War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7.Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8.They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10.Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.
11.I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12.In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13.I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14.Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15.Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16.A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17.You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18.Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19.There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20.I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21.You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22.To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
23.Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25.Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
26.Where there's a will, there are relatives.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Fun Trivia II

Every day 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500!

The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad!

Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces after eating!Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated by Canada Post on February 1, 1969!

In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes!

There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal Crackers cookie zoo!

Should there be a crash, Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane as a precaution!

Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second!

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card!

Chocolate has always been included on all American and Russian space flights.

White cats with blue eyes are often deaf, however, if they have only one blue eye they are deaf in the ear closest to the blue eye.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Fun Trivia

Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!

One car out of every 230 made was stolen last year!  

Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea were used as money in Siberia!

The Nobel Peace Prize medal depicts three naked men with their hands on each other's shoulders!

When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour. To photograph the event, a camera must shoot at a millionth of a second!
A Boeing 747 airliner holds 57,285 gallons of fuel!

A car uses 1.6 ounces of gas idling for one minute. Half an ounce is used to start the average automobile!
A lightning bolt generates temperatures five times hotter than those found at the sun's surface!

A violin contains about 70 separate pieces of wood!
It is estimated that 4 million "junk" telephone calls, phone solicitations by persons or programmed machine are made every day in the United States!

It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!

Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill!

Almost half the newspapers in the world are published in the United States and Canada!

For your convenience, read a sample right now.